Gimli Finds a Lollipop
by ChaoticDwarfo
Summary: An evil lollipop falls out of the sky. It hits a chipmunk on the head before causing confuzzlement and... stuff. Poor chipmunk... [PG-13 just in case!]
1. Dumb Dwarf

**Chapter One:** Dumb Dwarf...   
  
  
**Disclaimer:** No, Tolkien's characters do not belong to me. Obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't have a need to write fanfiction on the subject. Comprehend? No? Maybe a thonk over the head with Gandalf's staff could help... x.-   
  
  
  
  
  
The sun rose. Birds chirped. Elves acted fruity and hobbits suffered from hangovers. 'Twas a normal day in Middle-Earth...   
  
  
Except for the crimson-hued lollipop of bloody D00Mishness that fell out of the sky.   
  
  
That bit was rather odd.   
  
  
Not to mention painful.   
  
  
Especially to the chipmunk who's head it landed on.   
  
  
Meanwhile, Gimli the dwarf-dude strolled casually in the direction of the cardboard - er, I mean, wonderfully natural and realistic - sunrise.   
  
  
Astride to his left, Legolas, elf of Fruitwood, spotted a shiny object. Bending down to goggle over the item in all its sparkly glory, the elf was sucked into a random pink chasm of rabid fangirls and fruitcake, never to be seen again.   
  
  
That is, until the third chapter.   
  
  
Gimli, in all his blissful obliviousness, didn't notice.   
  
  
Nor would he have cared if he did.   
  
  
Dumb dwarf...   
  
  
  
  
  
**Author's Note:** Yah, the chapter's short. Yah, this is what idiocy spawns. Yah, I'm on a sugar high. You have a problem with that...? *brandishes sharpened pixie sticks*   
  
  
**P.S.** Reviews are nice, preciousss... Mind lending me one? 


	2. Alejandro the Llama

**Chapter Two:** Alejandro the Llama   
  
  
**Disclaimer:** No, Tolkien's characters do not belong to me. Obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't have a need to write fanfiction on the subject. Comprehend? No? Maybe a thonk over the head with Gandalf's staff could help... x.-   
  
  
  
  
  
A loud 'thump' could be heard resonating through the air as the distant figure of a dwarf was seen walking into what would appear a rather solid form of a sunset, perhaps brick, or wood, or - cardboard.   
  
  
Definitely cardboard.   
  
  
"Ow..." came a low mumble, soon following the 'thump'.   
  
The dwarf seemed rather uncomfortable - but not only because he had just slammed (rather stupidly, I must add, taking into regard the 20 some neon signs pointing to the 'sunset') face-on into a fake morning sky before toppling onto his back. There was something lumpy underneath him.   
  
  
That something just so happened to be a chipmunk.   
  
  
And a lollipop.   
  
  
Gimli liked the lollipop. It was big and red and shiny and... stuff. Yes, stuff.   
  
  
So he picked it up and skipped merrily away.   
  
  
However, as mentioned before, Gimli is a blissfully oblivious dwarf.   
  
  
He slammed into the cardboard sunset. Again.   
  
  
Meanwhile, the chipmunk looked like this: @__@   
  
  
The author feels sorry for the chipmunk. But that's irrelevant to the story, so let us all ignore the author. Just like everyone else does.   
  
  
Now the author feels sorry for herself.   
  
  
Bah humbug.   
  
  
Focusing on Gimli (and the story) once more, we find the vertically-challenged little man staring intently at the lollipop.   
  
  
Yes, Gimli my friend, 'tis a lollipop.   
  
  
In the mean time, Alejandro the flaming llama leaps out of a spontaneous plot-hole, making no sense whatsoever. But hey - is anything sensible in life?   
  
  
The awesomely awesome Alejandro struts like a peacock.   
  
  
Why, you ask?   
  
  
Because he was a peacock in a former life, silly!   
  
  
A peacock named Gallo, as a matter of fact.   
  
  
Before he was Gallo the Peacock, however, Alejandro was a flea in Huan's hair. That is how Alejandro is tied to Middle-Earth.   
  
  
Now, if one were to look closer upon this flaming llama/peacock/flea, they might notice something odd clinging to its blazing fur.   
  
  
Something quite Legolas-y.   
  
  
No, wait.   
  
  
That is Legolas.   
  
  
Hm.   
  
  
Looks like I lied about the time frame. He's back!   
  
  
  
  
  
**Author's Note:** Arigato! Merci! Danke! Gracias! Thank-you to everyone who reviewed - all **7** of ya! *huggles joo* A left-over Halloween lollipop for you all, yes... But don't ask me how many Halloweens ago they ARE left over from. oO;   
  
  
**P.S.** Caffeine is eeebil... *sugar-induced twitch* 


End file.
